Come On Man, Get with the Program!

Carlos Silvia was right; Ichiro needs to go. He just embarrasses the rest of the team with his offensive success.  I mean what nerve this guy has thinking it is ok to show up and hit near .300 on this team!

Doesn’t he know that the team can’t win if everyone is not pulling in the same direction? The University of Washington crew team didn’t become a national powerhouse because all of the individual accomplishment and accolades of the members. They did it by synchronizing themselves and working to a common goal. No one player stood out above the rest.

Hasn’t he heard anything Eric Wedge has said about being a team player? The rest of these guys come to the park and do their parts. They know what it means to be a Seattle Mariners. They get it. That Ichiro guy, he is still stuck in some delusional world where success is measured by the number of hits you get and runs you score. Who thinks that way?

The fans of this fine city have made their voices heard. If Ichiro cares so much about his personal numbers, he should just go somewhere else. Somewhere like Boston or New York where individual accomplishments are valued over team unity.

The Subtle Mind of Ichiro

Oh, hello there.

I see you've caught me doing what I enjoy least: exerting myself. it is alright, I shall commence gliding for the rest of the season, lest the grass of these so-called baseball "fields" scuff my shoes. Do not worry though, for my hitting will distract you. How do I hit so good? Do not worry. This is not for you to know. This is for me to know and exploit, for there is not enough of this ointment to go around.

What is that you say? Yes, I do enjoy playing for the Seattle Mariners baseball club team. No, I do not worry about our continued ineptitude. Every team loses occasionally. It happens, this is not of my concern, for I am here to hit the baseball. Would you like to know my secret?

I do not know the rules of baseball. There, now it is out in the open. When I came to the America, I was told that I could hit the baseball. You see, this is all I know in life. My family raised me to hit a baseball, and after years of training at a remote monastery in the Himalayas, I became good enough to reach the America.

I have been told that there are other parts of baseball. The one called Rool Ibanyes once told me that sometimes people like to hit the ball very far and win games. Ha! This is ridiculous. Needless to say, I laughed quite hardily at him. How can it be that people wish to do this? I had to explain to him that no team would employ people like Yuniesky Betancourt and Carl Everett and Brad Wilkerson if this were true. No, it must have been a cruel joke from the mind of Rool.

What is this you say? Baseball IS for winning? No. Do not distract me. I must single for the good of mankind.