Breaking Fake News!!!

The other day at work I got to talking with a co-worker about people that follow sports rumors insesently. You know the type. They are signed on to every major media's twitter, friends with all their favorite stars on facebook and constantly looking at ESPN.com. My co-worker and I came to the realization that if this blog started breaking some sports news stories or rumors we would get way more traffic. Well here is the thing. I dont have the time or resources to find these breaking stories. However, I do have the time to make them up. So I have decided to do just that. Here are 10 breaking fake news blurbs that you probably wont see anywhere else this year.

• Tiring of charasmatic coach Pete Carroll, Seahawks owner Paul Allen decides to coach the team himself in 2011.
• Inspired by the Ken Griffey Jr signing in 2010, GMZ decides to bring back another aging past Mariner and signs Randy Winn to start in LF.
• Clay Bennett decides he really doesn't like basketball all that much and decides to sell the Sonics back to Seattle.
• Encouraged by the success of ESPN U, the massive sports network launches ESPN HS.
• The Toronto Blue Jays agree to trade Brandon Morrow back to the Mariners for Brandon League.
• While hiking in the Andes this offseason, Matt Hasselbeck finds the fountain of youth and end the Seahawks QB concerns for the forseeable future.
• Former UW Husky Jake Locker skips the NFL draft to play center field for the Los Angeles Angels of Anahiem.
• Powered by his magical purple drink, JaMarcus Russell signs a contract with the Carolina Panthers and lead them to the NFC Championship and Super Bowl XLVI only to lose to the Buffalo Bills.
• During a prolonged NFL labor dispute, stars, like Peyton Manning and Tom Brady, bolt from the established league to the fledgling UFL.
• Tiger Woods becomes the first major sports star to come out of the closet.