Beardpocalypse: The Stanley Cup Playoffs

"DO YOU LOVE ME NOW, STANLEY!?"

And so, after months of none of you watching, the NHL regular season has come to an end, and what a lovely season it was.  The Canucks dominated in just about every aspect of the game (most goals scored, least allowed, best powerplay, third best penalty kill), the Penguins showed what they have beyond Crosby, pilling up wins without him, and the Flyers stopped trying about a month ago.  Now, with the playoffs beginning, you the readers must be wondering; "What team should we root for?"  That or "why are all those lacrosse players on skates?"  So without further ado, here are the reason to root for each NHL team still playing.

• Vancouver Canucks: One of the premier franchises in the NHL, the Canucks have always had trouble with the whole winning thing.  Somehow, a fanbase that large without a single Stanley Cup seems wrong.  Plus, Canada's due.
• Chicago Blackhawks: Chicago has been the face of hockey in its time, and the fanbase must be quite sad following the gutting of last year's team.  Sure, they're happy about the whole championship thing, but whatever.  Plus, who doesn't love relentless Chelsea Dagger? (Hint: Everyone).
• San Jose Sharks: Perennial chokers, you just have to feel sorry for them.  Then you realize that they've brought in on themselves by building around Joe Thornton, who clearly is evil or else he'd get to win once in awhile.
• Los Angeles Kings: Purple is pretty.
• Detroit Red Wings: Unlike the Red Sox and Yankees, the Red Wings have built around astounding drafts and sound cap maneuvering, which is something to be proud of.  Even so, it gets tough to root for the cool kid every time, just ask "Revenge of the Nerds."
• Phoenix Coyotes: Because nothing would be funnier than an NHL-owned team on the verge of moving winning the Cup.
• Anaheim Ducks: Emilio Estevez?
• Nashville Predators: For the lack of fans and the severe lack of money of any kind, the Predators are amazing.  Sure, they've never won a playoff series, but the fact that they make it every year with guys like Marcel Goc centering their top line is just amazing.  Go ahead, look up Marcel Goc.
• Washington Capitals: Because you know nothing about hockey except that Ovechkin is good and don't want anybody to realize it.
• New York Rangers: You are the mother of Brandon Dubinsky.
• Philadelphia Flyers: Nothing entertains like clean, friendly hockey and effusive, welcoming fans.  As such, you should root for the Flyers because that is totally what they are known for.  In other news, Chris Pronger loves puppies and cured AIDS.
• Buffalo Sabres: Much like the Predators, Buffalo has had to deal with a lack of monetary resources but keeps competing.  Everybody loves the underdog, and Buffalo is always that.  Also, American hero and Founding Father Ryan Miller plays here.
• Boston Bruins: You are wrong.
• Montreal Canadiens: Canada deserves the Cup again, and if it can't be the Canucks then I guess Le Habs are the best (read: only) alternative.
• Pittsburgh Penguins: Without Crosby for some time, it would be nice to see all the little guys on the Penguins prove their worth and show that they truly are elite, with or without their superstars.
• Tampa Bay Lightning: Southern markets are funny to see doing well, if nothing else to see what their fans will do.  The Hurricanes ended up tailgating at games, so it'd be interesting to see what Floridians do.  Free Cubans for everyone?  Relax, I meant cigars.

In conclusion, choose the Canucks because I like them and you probably don't care much anyways do you?