The Little Engine That Fielded: David Eckstein

"Yay! We're going to Chuck E. Cheese!"

With the recent signing of Orlando "O-Dawg" Hudson and the trade for Jason Bartlett, the San Diego Padres have effectively ended the David Eckstein era in San Diego.  It is certainly a sad day, as the Eckstein era, all two years of it, was grittier than grit.  Many (me, just now) have said that David Eckstein is so gritty, they have expected True Grit to be about him.  It was not, much to the disappointment of the masses (again, me).

However, no matter how bleak the outlook is for Eckstein, no mere man can stop him from hitting .260 and being passable in the field.  No, Eckstein will certainly get a job, and he will most certainly display effective baseball skills in the body of an 8-year old child.

Sure, Eckstein may not hit another walkoff homerun like he did this season, but he will remain gritty to the extent that gravel seems clean.  What is most surprising about all this is that David Eckstein has forged this mighty career despite being 5-7, 170 (how anyone can in good conscience list him at 170 pounds is beyond me.  Shame on you, Yahoo! Sports).  For comparison's sake, here is a list of people bigger than the Ecks Man:

• Martha Stewart
• Fozzy Bear
• Rihanna
• Antman (both in human and ant form)
• At least two of the original Oompa Loompas
• Napoleon Bonaparte
• A life-size bust of Napoleon Bonaparte's head only
• Most double amputees
• Carlton Banks

This has been a brief list of people bigger than David Eckstein.  Excuse me, as it is past 8 p.m. and that means it is David's bedtime, he's got a lot to do tomorrow, like (presumably) hustle his way through a mountain.