Sunday, October 31, 2010

Historic Pat Burrell

Heading into Game 3 of the 2010 World Series, Pat Burrell had not exactly distinguished himself. Pat the Former Bat was an outstanding 0-5 with 4 strikeouts and one run scored, not exactly earning his place.

However, this all changed after Game 3. Burrell went 0-4 with 4 strikeouts. That's right; on the series Pat is 0-9 with 8 strikeouts. This is indeed the worst performance in the history of the World Series for a batter. Indeed, Pat Burrell has moved from simply amazing to what he shall now be know as: "Historic".

Yes, Historic Pat Burrell has been born out of his relatively unimpressive state as nothing more than Pat the Bat. From henceforth, he is, and forever shall be, one of History's best.

Wait, no, that's not the word. What is it? Oh right, worst. Congratulations, Historic Pat Burrell.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

A Few Tidbits from Around the Web

Along with my interest in watching, talking and writing about sports I also enjoy reading about them. As such I often stumble across content on the web that I feel needs to be seen by others. For a lot of this content I dont want to write a full blog post or even a short one. But, this stuff still needs to be shared! You, my faithful reader need an opportunity to watch, read or hear it.

So, I present to you a new series here on Unique Sports Theme Name, I call it "A Few Tidbits from Around the Web". In this series we will provide you a collection of links to sports related content. Stuff we think you will all find interesting. This series will be scheduled to appear randomly and without warning. Basically whenever I think I have enough links to provide you. So, without much further ado, I present to you the first ever installment of "A Few Tidbits from Around the Web."

  • Seattle Mariner's fan site, Lookout Landing's take on the Mariners being only 2 of 30 active franchises to never ppear in the World Series. Click Here
  • The Atlantic writer Hamopton Stevens discusses which team to root for in the World Series. Click Here. Thanks to reader Tyler for this link.
  • A picture of the Los Angles Lakers 2009-2010 Championship ring. Click Here
  • The Onion's take on helmet to helmet hits. Click Here. Thanks again to Tyler.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Beast Mode

Unfortunately for those who read the title, this post isn't about Beast Wars. If you want to leave, I understand.

Luckily, you've come to the team at a good time. The team is on a winning streak and filled with good vibes. Mike Williams is making everyone smile with his reclaimation, which overshadows similar (though not as drastic) comebacks by Chris Clemons, Marcus Trufant, and Stacy Andrews.

As much as the Seahawks underperformed last season, that's how much they've overperformed this season. Every player is playing to the best of their ability with the possible exception of Earl Thomas and Aaron Curry, who have been quite good but have so much talent as to still have room to improve.

Honestly, there is very little in the way of a talent difference between this season and last. Sure, there is more promise as the roster's gotten much younger, but the on-field product right now is pretty similar. The real difference here is attitude: Pete Carroll has the Seahawks playing hard and beastly at all times and having a good time doing it, a stark contrast to Jim Mora's epically retarded coaching style.

The future is bright for the Seahawks thanks to Earl Thomas (and some others, but holy crap he's good), so look forward to it. But enjoy a possible playoff berth and first round loss this season as well.

The NBA's Best

So you already read the report on our prediction of the NBA's worst teams and you probably find yourself wondering, who are the best? Well dear reader here is your answer counting down from 5 to 1.

5. (censor)2009-2010 record 50-32
The (censor)have what every professional sports team dreams about, a young, talented team built around a uber-skilled yet down to earth superstar.

The (censor)are built around their core of (censor), (censor)and (censor). All three of these players are super talented and well rounded. If you rank of all of the players from last season individually by PTS, AST, REB, STL and BLK and then average each players ranks to get a composite score, (censor), (censor)and (censor)are all in the top 25. That is amazing. Additionally, all three appear to have their heads on straight. Something that is exceedingly difficult to find in the modern NBA.

Both (censor)and (censor)played for the USA nation team in this summers FIBA world championship. This allowed them to gain valuable experience playing against some of the world’s best. (censor)was even named the tournaments MVP. He averaged 22.8 PPG and shot 63.1% form the field.

The (censor)roster is completed with a collection of young players with lots of potential and a few solid veterans. The young players include collegiate standouts, (censor), (censor)and (censor). Any of them could have a breakout year. The veterans on the team aren’t old unlike many other teams. Only one player, (censor), is over 30.

Although the (censor)might not be the best team this year they are definitely deserving of a stop in the top five. Their team is young and talented with plenty of room to grow. If they can keep this core together they have built what is likely to be a team challenging for NBA championships for years to come.

4.Boston Celtics 2009-2010 record 50-32It bodes well for a team when it has four future hall of famer on it. With Shaq, Kevin Garnett, Ray Allen and Paul Pierce all on the roster the Celtics have just that. They also have a good chance to win a lot of games.

The Boston Celtics greatest strength is their veterans and their most important veteran is lifelong Celtic Paul Pierce. He has built his career around getting to the basket and scoring points (22.5 career PPG). At the beginning of his career he was a volume scorer requiring 18-20 attempts a game to put up his numbers. However, in the last several years he has drastically improved his shooting efficiency. He brought his FG% up to 47.2% and his 3PT% up to 41.4% last year, both career highs. By increasing his shooting percentage, Pierce has been able to continue to put up big numbers while still allowing other players touches.

Boston’s biggest weakness is also relying so heavily on those four players. All of them are over 33, with Shaq leading the way at 38. It is well known that as players pass 30 their skills decline and they become more susceptible to injury. The Celtics should be able to withstand a bad year or an injury of one or even two of their veterans. But, if the unforgiving hands of father time touch too many of their players expect this team to fall fast.

With their experienced star veterans leading the way not many teams will be able to best them. If this team stays healthy they should challenge for a trip to their fourth straight Eastern Conference Finals.

3. Orlando Magic 2009-2010 record 59-23After losing in the NBA finals two years ago and in the Eastern Conference finals last year, the Orlando magic are back to push for another shot at the title.

The best and most dominating center in the NBA is Dwight Howard. Dwight Howard has led the NBA in REB three straight years and BLK two. Dwight Howard is an imposing force who can single handedly take over a game. Dwight Howard plays for the Orlando Magic. This is a good thing for them.

Besides their center the Magic have a lot of other good things going for them. The majority of the players from last year are back. On the offensive end, they were 6th in the league in PPG last year, registering at 102.8. They also excelled on the defensive side. The Magic held opponents to only 95.3 PPG, good enough for 4th in the league. The main departure from the team was Matt Barnes, who bolted to the Lakers. To replace him they added two veterans, Chris Duhon and Quentin Richardson. 28 year old PG Chris Duhon is a reliable back up incase Jameer Nelson gets hurt again. 30 year old SG Quentin Richardson has shown the ability to score. Both should be an upgrade over Barnes.

This year, the key parts of a great 2009-2010 team, that made the Eastern Conference finals last year, return. Those returning players, along with the upgrades to their bench, make the Magic a title contender for sure.

2. Miami Heat 2009-2010 record 47-35Lebron James, Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh on the same team, need I say more?

1. Los Angeles Lakers 2009-2010 record 57-25The Lakers are the two time defending NBA champs and have the best chance at winning it all again this year. Their team is staked with talent on offense and defense.

The most obvious talent is Kobe Bryant. Kobe is easily one of the 3 best players in the league. Although he is now 32 years old he hasn’t shown signs of slowing down. Kobe has averaged 29.82 ppg, 5.04 apg and 5.58 rpg over the last 5 seasons. To compliment his stellar offensive numbers Kobe is also a great defender. He has made the NBA All-Defensive first team five straight seasons.

In addition to Kobe, the Lakers have a great team. They have lights out range shooters (Steve Blake), dominating post players (Pau Gasol), match-up nightmares (Lamar Odom), tenacious defenders (Ron Artest), and seasoned veterans (Derek Fischer). Once everyone is healthy, the team features projected starters: Kobe Bryant, Pau Gasol, Ron Artest, Andrew Bynum and Lamar Odom. There isn’t a better starting five in the league.

Unless they completely and totally under perform expectations, the Lakers will have the best team in the league yet again. This will put Coach Phil Jackson will be looking to add to his already record 11 NBA Championships.


Sources: Yahoo Sports, ESPN, FIBA

Monday, October 18, 2010

Brian Scalabrine Diaries: The NBA's Worst

As all us fans currently living in states where the NBA is the big thing or, for our Washington fans, is evil incarnate, the basketball season is set to start again soon. This leads us to the most exciting of blog posts: previewing the worst teams in the league!

Minnesota Timberwolves

MVP: Kevin "Chubs" Love (11 RPG, 4.9 Win Shares, 14 PPG)

Mohammed Sene Award: Darko Milicic (8 PPG, .6 WS, new 3-yr, $21 million dollar deal)

The Season Ahead: David "Wrath of" Kahn continues to impress everyone, compiling a roster of people who at one point or another were considered to have basketball skill. Corey Brewer is a solid defensive player, though is more or less worthless at offense (-.5 WS, .431 shooting percentage). Furthermore, Kahn has decided to just draft mediocre players from Syracuse, following up Jonny Flynn's OK rookie year (.417 FG%, 3 TOs per game) by bringing in 23 yr old rookie Wesley Johnson to be a backup small forward. Furthermore, Darko Milicic and Nikola Pekovic are the only centers on the roster. Think about that and tell me this team will win games ever.

Vlade Divac Says: The future says is lottery teams for definite!

Detroit Pistons

MVP: Tayshaun Prince (13 PPG, 5 RPG, 3 APG, 1.4 Abe Lincoln Beards)

Mohammed Sene Award: Rip Hamilton ($10 million dollar contract, .437 effective FG%, 2.5 TOs per game)

The Season Ahead: It just started looking a whole lot worth thanks to the loss of Jonas Jerebko, the only real bright spot from last season. Joe Dumars' reputation as a good GM has disintegrated entirely, with overpaid bench players Ben Gordon and Charlie Villaneuva shooting every shot this side of Antoine Walker (.321 and .351 3pt FG%, respectively). Furthermore, past-their-prime guys Rip Hamilton, Tayshaun Prince, and Ben Wallace are barely average nowadays but get to keep on raking in cash thanks to their past contributions, though at least Wallace can still play defense (1.2 steals, 1.2 blocks per game). Finally, Rodney Stuckey's and Jason Maxiell's ceilings were vastly different than what they seemed, with both appearing to be nothing better than bench players (Stuckey shot .228% from 3, Maxiell turns it over almost as much as he rebounds it).

Vlade Divac Says: The Pistons are of the Detroit economics: terriblest!

Sacramento Kings

MVP: Tyreke Evans (Worst jump shot ever, 20 PPG, 5.4 WS, 11 combined APG/RPG)

Mohammed Sene Award: Francisco Garcia ($6 million price tag, 1 WS)

The Season Ahead: Last season, nothing was more infuriating than watching the Kings. Paul Westphal may indeed be the worst coach in all of basketball, yelling at his players and using the worst rotations imaginable. Yes, I only watched for the Husky alums (thank god they're out of Sac-town), but Westphal would throw out 4 forward lineups, no forward lineups, even Kenny Thomas lineups. This team doesn't have that much talent beyond Evans, average-ish Jason Thompson (12 PPG, 8 RPG, 4 WS), and newcomer DeMarcus Cousins, who looks to have put aside his affinity for eating to focus on basketball. However, no amount of talent can overcome Paul Westphal, and as such expect the Kings to be ungodly bad.

Vlade Divac Says: In Sacramento, coach fight you!

Washington Wizards

MVP: ...Kirk... Kirk Hinrich? (11 PPG, 4.5 APG)

Mohammed Sene Award: Gilbert Arenas ($80 million owed, insane, 32% usage despite 1.8 WS)

The Season Ahead: Well it certainly doesn't look good. The highlight of this team is half-season wonder Andray Blatche (2.6 defensive WS, 14 PPG and 6 RPG) and rookie John Wall, who is continually hyped as amazing. Unfortunately, John Wall honestly wasn't that amazing in college and now has to rely on Gilbert Arenas as his mentor. Let's see how that goes. Furthermore, all of this team's talent is in it's point guards, meaning to get their best players on the floor they will play three plays under 6'3". When JaVale McGee is your center, that won't work out. At all.

Vlade Divac Says: Is still have Pervis Ellison? No? Last place are of you.

Toronto Raptors

MVP: Jarrett Jack (5 APG off the bench, 5 WS)

Mohammed Sene Award: Jose Calderon (zero defensive WS, $8 million, seriously ZERO defensive WS)

The Season Ahead: How can any team play this bad of defense? Seriously, Amir Johnson is the only roster play with a defensive WS above 1 from last season. That is unfathomably bad. The Warriors pull random D-Leaguers into their lineup and still play better defense! Anyways, with Chris Bosh gone this team becomes Andrea Bargnani's, and that's not worrisome at all. The man with 1 ROY vote back in the day grabbed 10% of the rebounds available, explaining how a 7-foot center can average only 6 RPG. Beyond Bargnani, you can enjoy the stylings of Linas Kleiza's return to the NBA and rookie Ed Davis' absolute failure that seems sure to come. This team has no chance at anything and would certainly be the worst in the NBA if not for playing in an equally-terrible division.

Vlade Divac Says: Why no take charges? Take charges and to win!

Friday, October 15, 2010

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Another Record for Favre

In Monday night's loss to the New York Jets, Brett Favre set yet another NFL record. His second quarter fumble was his 161st of all time. This ties him with another NFL great Warren Moon. Favre wasn't satisfied with that though. So, in the third quarter Favre coughed it up again, firmly securing his place as the leader. He already had the career interception record (which he decided to add to in the fourth quarter), but this new record cements Favre's legacy as the most generous quarterback in NFL history. He has been gracious enough to give the other team a chance to have the ball more then any other player, ever.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

The Greatest Award of All: Baseball

We here at Unique Sports Theme Name like to recognize top performers in sports, much like any other organization. As such, with the close of the Major League Baseball regular season, it is time to recognize those that outperform all others at the toughest of all statistics: sucking really bad.

Yes, only so many players can be so bad as to even qualify for this award. Cesar Izturis? Sure, his -31.2 batting rating is tempting to add him to the list, but this is a man with a positive UZR! He has value somewhere, and as such cannot be considered. Yuniesky Betancourt even relinquished his two year stranglehold on this award, hitting well enough to not be completely worthless (with Yuni, you take what you can get).

Indeed, there is really only one MLB player that can possibly being given the title of worst of the year. And without further ado, we salute you, Melky Cabrera, for being so incredibly terrible.

The numbers speak for themselves really: negative 1.2 Wins Above Replacement. That's right, Melky Cabrera is not only worse, but significantly worse than a random minor leaguer called up to play every day. Furthermore, Cabrera had a negative 16 UZR. Playing the corner outfielder. What is arguably the easiest spot on the entire diamond to field was too hard for Melky. For comparisons sake, Franklin Gutierrez's 31 UZR last year was historically good; Brett Gardner led all of baseball this year with a 22 UZR. Melky Cabrera was so bad at defense that his UZR was only bested (worsted?) by two players; the unbelievable Carlos Lee (-17.4) and the incredibly lazy centerfielder Matt Kemp (a mindboggling -24.3).

Ok, you say. Maybe Melky could hit well enough to make up for it, you say. Melky Cabrera batted .254, which would be ok if he had some power (4 HRs in 500 ABs, .354 SLG). He drove in 42 runners. The only positve stat Melky had was 11 IBBs, which is kind of ridiculous to think that anyone would want to walk him. Considering he has the hitting ability of a backup middle infielder (Josh Wilson, anyone?), it's sad he plays the corner outfielder every day.

Regardless of his excuses, Melky Cabrera is the worst player in baseball this season. Enjoy the playoffs, Melky, for you are already a winner in our minds.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

NHL Season Preview: Five Worst

When I proposed to Matt that we do an NHL preview for this blog I figured it would be easy. I figured I had pretty good understanding of the NHL. I had played in several fantasy hockey leagues during highschool, check the standings in the league every once and a while during the last several seasons, and watched a couple games a year. I listened to Matt talk about hockey all the time and I read about it in ESPN the Magazine and on Yahoo Sports. Probably most importantly, I had played lots of NHL 2003 on PS2, and I mean lots. Plus I would be doing the easier of the 2 write ups. I was in charge of predicting the worst 5 teams (See Matt’s post for the 5 best). Predicting bad teams is easy. Bad teams don’t change that quickly. Think about baseball and the Pirates, Orioles, and Nationals or football and the Lions, Bills and Raiders, these teams have been bad for a very long time.

Well as it turns out I under estimated how hard it would be to pick bad teams in the NHL. First off The Mag’s NHL preview was only 34 pages out of the 128 in the October issue. Of those 34 pages only 5 are advertisements, 5 cover Patrick Kane, and 6 talk about Zambonies. I already knew Patrick Kane was good at hockey and Zambonies were cool. That leaves me only 18 pages of new useful information, most of which focuses on the good teams. On top of that NHL teams fluctuate more year to year then other sports. Sure the Red Wings are good every year, but I had to write a post about bad teams. Take a look at this list that shows each team that ranked in the bottom 5 of the NHL at least once over the last five seasons. There are 16 teams on that list. Of those 16 teams at least 6 are legitimately good now.

All that means I had my work cut out for me. So I scoured NHL previews from ESPN the Magazine and Yahoo Sports. I put together information in excel and learned more about hockey then I had since the Olympics. After all that work I determine that these are the 5 worst in the league (Ranked from bad to Worst).

5. The Atlanta Thrasher 09-10 record 35-34-13

To start with, 2 of the 3 Atlanta point leaders from last season, Maxim Afinogenov and Ilya Kovalchuk, are gone. Afinogenov, who ranked second on the team in pts with 61, bolted to the KHL. The franchise’s best player ever, Ilya Kovalchuk (58 pts in only 49 games), got traded to the Devils and then signed with them. These losses are going to be hard to overcome. Although the team is hopeful that Nic Antropov and the young Evander Kane can pick up the slack.

In an attempt to try and help the team and provide veteran leadership the Thrashers signed four players from the Championship Blackhawks: Ben Eager 16pts, Andrew Ladd 38pts, Brent Sopel 8pts, Dustin Byfuglien 34pts. If you are someone that believes in that sort of intangible these signings are a good thing. Personally I don’t think it matters.

The Atlanta Thrashers finished last season with 83 pts last year good enough for second in their division, but bad enough to miss the playoffs. I expect them to be worse this year. They went 0-5-1 in the preseason and they lost more in players then they gained.


4. The Florida Panthers 09-10 record 32-37-13

Some things never change. This team was bad when I played NHL 2003 and they are bad now. They are like the Pittsburgh Pirates of Hockey.

The best player on the team is goalkeeper Tomas Vokoun. He was third in the league last year with a 0.925 SV% while facing the 5th most shots. In 08-09 he was second in the league with a 0.923 SV%. Any shot this team has at being good relies on Vokoun playing stellar. Although he doesn’t appear to be slowing down, Vokoun is 34 now.

To put even more pressure on Vokoun, this team really, really struggled to score last season. I don’t expect them to be much better this year. They had 0 players score 30 goals and 3 players score 20. One of those guys, Nathan Horton, is now with the Boston Bruins. The Panthers are relying on forward David Booth to come back from injury, pick up where he left off in 08-09 and score 30+ goals this season.

Much like their loser baseball brethren in Pittsburgh I see the Florida Panthers continuing their streak of bad seasons. I can’t see their quality goaltending offsetting their lack of offense.

3. The New York Islanders 09-10 record 34-37-11

Remember that list from earlier in the post? The Islanders are listed in first with 3 appearances in the bottom 5 over the last 5 years. On top of that, the Islanders have finished in the bottom 5 in the Eastern Conference 4 times in the last 5 years. They also finished the NHL preseason with only 2 pts. All that is no coincidence.

The Islanders are bad. Thanks to the fact that they have been bad for a long time they have some really promising young talent. The best of that bunch is John Tavares. He scored 24 goals last year, his first year in the league. Unfortunately for the Islanders he was one of only 2 players to score over 20 (The other is Matt Moulson who scored 30). If all those young promising player pan out that should change this year, that is a big if though.

Like a lot of bad teams that Islanders are also weak at the Goalie position. They do have their starter signed for another 10 years but based on how often he is hurt that will only be about 2 years of ice time for Rick DiPietro. Assuming DiPietro gets hurt again, which he will, the Islanders are stuck with Dwayne Roloson and his 0.910 SV%.

If everything goes in their favor the Islanders have the potential to be good this year. Of course that can be said for almost any team in the preseason.


2. The Columbus Blue Jackets 09-10 record 32-35-15

Gamblers really don’t like the Blue Jackets odds this year. According to Yahoo they set them at 100/1. The only other team that bad is the New York Islanders and that is just east coast bias, they always have to lead everything.

The majority of the negativity surrounding the 10-11 season for the Blue Jackets focuses on the fact that they finished with the fourth worst record in the NHL (tied with NYI by the way) and didn’t add any players of note this offseason. The roster only has one new player, Ethan Moreau, who played for Edmonton last year. It isn’t good when your only new player is form the team that finished dead last in the league the year before.

On top of a weak roster, Columbus has the unfortunate disadvantage of playing in the same division as both Chicago and Detroit. Being forced to play each of these teams 6 times is bad news for anyone. It is even worse news when you are a bad team with a bad defense. Expect stars like Patrick Kane (thanks ESPN Magazine for those 5 pages!) and Henrik Zetterberg to tear apart the Blue jackets weak D.

Columbus has finished among the bottom 5 teams in the Western Conference 4 of the last 5 years. Unless, their players all get a lot better and fast expect to make it 5 of 6. In better news for the fans Rick Nash still plays here for now.

1. The Edmonton Oilers 09-10 record 27-47-8

This team is young. They have an average age of only 26.11 compared to a league average of 28.02. A lot of the players are in their first of second seasons. After finishing dead last in the league last year with only 62 points, it is a lot to expect all these young kids to do well so soon.

Not making life any easier on those young kids are the goalies in Edmonton. ESPN the Mag rates their goaltending as a 3 out of 10. Looking at the goalies on the roster it is easy to see why. The best save percentage on the team belonged to Nikolai Khabibulin at a measly 0.910%. The main starter was Jeff Deslauriers who came in at 0.900 %. The good news for Deslauriers is there is room for improvement, right? With bad goaltending like this the Oilers are going to be playing from behind frequently.

The really young unproven team and awful goalies all adds up to the worst team in the NHL. The goal for this team should be to finish better then last year, try for 63 pts.

Sources: Yahoo Sports, ESPN, NHL

Saturday, October 2, 2010

The NHL's Best: A Novel

It is the dawn of yet another NHL season, and we here at Unique Sports Theme Name are moderately excited. Sure, the Northwest isn't exactly a huge hockey neighborhood, but that doesn't mean I can't try and convince you otherwise. As such, and in tandem with Kevin's preview, I present to you the five best NHL teams this year, as judged by a man with relatively little hockey knowledge.

Vancouver Canucks

Top Performers: The Flying Sedin Brothers, Ryan Kesler, Roberto Luongo

So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish: Michael Grabner, Willie Mitchell, Kyle "The Cookie Monster" Wellwood

Come Stay Awhile: Dan Hamhuis, Keith Ballard, Manny Malhotra

Season Outlook: The Canucks may very well be the deepest team in the NHL, with strong defensive forwards like Raffi "Beluga" Torres and two-time Selke Award finalist Ryan Kesler filling out the lower lines. Scoring depth flows from everywhere as well, with Henrik and Daniel both averaging over 1.3 points a game last year and guys like Mason Raymond (53 points) and Mikael Samuelsson (strangely, also 53 points) providing secondary scoring and grit. Furthermore, the defense is just as deep, with proven NHL players Kevin Bieksa and Ryan Parent filling out the third pairing and strong-if-not-flashy D-men like Keith Ballard, Alex Edler, and Dan Hamhuis shutting down opponents. Unfortunately, without a change in the playoffs, where everyone has played too emotionally and world-class goalie Roberto Luongo has forgotten how to play, this team may not go anywhere. Here's betting that changes.

Fighter Grade (By Bear Type): Rick Rypien, Kodiak Bear.

San Jose Sharks

Top Performers: Joe Thornton, Patrick Marleau, Dany Heatley
So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish: Evgeni Nabokov, Manny Malhotra
Come Stay Awhile: Annti Niemi, Antero Nittymaki, Andy Nieieni, Alexander Niteietetii
Outlook: The Sharks have been good long enough that people are starting to overlook them, but they may still be the best team in the NHL. The Sharks have the best line in the NHL by far with Thornton, Marleau, and Heatley all combining to score a bunch and somehow disappoint everyone. The lower lines are filled with energetic youngsters, with Logan Couture, Torrey Mitchell, and Ryane Clowe possibly engerizing the Sharks in a way they never have been. The defensive core isn't too exciting, but Douglas Murray and "Pickles" Vlasic lead a bunch of solid, capable defensemen. In goal, the Sharks have had a big change, losing franchise centerpiece Evgeni Nabokov after about 35 years and replacing him with world champ Annti Niemi and relatively-passable champ Antero Nittymaki. The Sharks probably have as much of a chance at the Cup this year as they ever have had.
Fighter Grade (By Bear Type): Jamal Meyers, Sun Bear.
Philadelphia Flyers

Top Performers: Mike Richards, Jeff Green, Chris "Douche" Pronger, Matt Carle
So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish: Simon Gagne, Arron Asham, Lucas Krajicek
Come Stay Awhile: Andrej Meszaros, Nikolai Zherdev (really!?), Jody Shelley
Outlook: This is basically the same team as last year, though it should perform much better in the regular season. Upper echelon players like Mike Richards and Jeff Carter underperformed for much of the season, but look for Carter to be closer to 2009's 46 goals than last year's 33. Furthermore, this team is the most violent, gritty hockey team ever, replacing former goon Arron Asham with the creature from the black lagoon; Jody Shelley. The whole defensive core is strong and features all-stars Chris Pronger, he of three Stanley Cup finals in the last five years, and Matt Carle, he of an extra E on his last name. Braydon Coburn continues to develop into a top talent, and Sean O'Donnell still plays hockey apparently. Unfortunately, NHL teams have to field a goalie, and Michael Leighton and Brian Boucher don't exactly inspire confidence, even after a strong playoff run.
Fighter Grade (By Bear Type): Jody Shelley, Prehistoric bulldog bear.
Washington Capitals

Top Performers: Alexander "Seman" Semin, Mike Green, that other forward.... oh ya! Jason Chimera.
So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish: Joe Corvo, Shaone Morrison
Come Stay Awhile: ...Lawrence Nycholat?
Outlook: Again, the Capitals enter the season as an offensive juggernaut with defensive question marks. Everyone seems to be labeling Ovechkin as a choke artist after the Caps shocking playoff loss, but people seem to overlook that Sidney Crosby got knocked out by the same team one round later. As great as Ovechkin is at scoring, Nicklas Backstrom seems to be equally as good at passing, dishing out 135 assists in the past two seasons. Guys like Alexander Semin and Brook Laich have been on the receiving end of many of these passes, helping to elevate them from pretty average to looking great. Unfortunately, the offense is the only strength of these team, as the defense lags far behind with questionable players like John Erskine and Tom Poti expected to actually be useable. For all his offensive value, Mike Green isn't really actually any good at defense, and John Carlson remains an unknown as a rookie despite a very positive outlook for him. Semyon Varlamov has proven himself a strong goaltender in the playoffs, but regular season success is still a bit out of reach for him it seems. Even so, the Caps have an excellent chance at the Cup.
Fighter Grade (By Bear Type): DJ King, Black Bear.
Chicago Blackhawks

Top Performers: Jonathan Toews, Patrick "20 Cent" Kane, Duncan Keith

So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish: Dustin Byflugien, Andrew Ladd, Antti Niemi, Ben Eager, Brent Sopel, Colin Fraser, Kris Versteeg, the house, everything except for Brian Campbell unfortunately.

Come Stay Awhile: Viktor Stalberg, Marty Turco (hahahahaha).

Outlook: After a Stanley Cup season, the Blackhawks lost basically every player on the roster thanks to salary problems. Unfortunate yes, but kind of hilarious that a team that has so many bandwagon fans can't turn a profit. Even so, the Blackhawks still have a strong foundation and managed to bring in a lot of fairly promising young players in trades. Toews remains an elite two-way forward, Kane still has offensive upside despite being an incredible douche, and Duncan Keith and Brent Seabrook may be the greatest D pairing in hockey. Unfortunately, there isn't really any depth beyond Dave Bolland and Patrick Sharp, along with Marian Hossa's slowly aging skills. The defensive is strong throughout, even if Jordan Hendry is forced to play. Marty Turco was an absolute mess in Dallas the past two seasons and looked worthless; how anyone thinks he will suddenly be an outstanding goalie again is beyond me. Chicago looks like a solid playoff team once again, but definitely not a Cup contender.

Fighter Grade (By Bear Type): Troy Brouwer, Panda Bear.