Farewell to a Legend: Gil Meche

Definitely some kind of baseball person.

It is the dawning of a new era today and, much like the years before it, it will be one filled with uncertainty.  Much like the dinosaurs and Cleopatra, a controversial legend has been taken from us before their time, never again to peddle the greatness that made them so famous to the general populace.  Indeed, life may never be the same from this point forward, with the whole world plunging into a time of great darkness not unlike Medieval Europe.  Yes, today was a day that will live in infamy.  Today was the day that Gil Meche retired.

Some may remember Gil Meche for what he actually was: a mediocre starting pitcher paid a lot of money at one point.  I prefer to remember him as something else, something that defined the Mariners for years and years: a hilariously bland and nondescript pitcher.


Yes, Gil Meche, much like Brett Tomko or even Jeff Fassero to some extent, was just kind of there.  Never bad enough to be bad and never good enough to be good, Gil Meche was the epitomy of a "Mariner", lasting for years simply on his ability to not hurt a team.  Sure, there were games here and there that Meche would use to demonstrate that yes, he really did have baseball talents, but those weren't the most interesting.

The Mariners are unfortuantely lacking in Gil Meches right now.  Yes, Luke French looks like he soon could be such a player, but he has been far too bad the last couple years to be in Meche territory yet.  Indeed, it is hard to even point out a large amount of Meches around the league, which fits perfectly with what Gil Meche truly is.  Jon Garland used to fit perfectly, but was simply too good last season.  Randy Wolf has had similarly damning success.  Livan Hernandez? Too interesting.  Carl Pavano? Too moustachioed.

I am sure that there is and will be more Gil Meches in our future as Mariners fans attendees.  Let us hope that day comes soon, for one can only handle interesting players doing things for so long.  I already find myself longing for more of Gil Meche's patented existing.