Friday, January 6, 2017

Boldly Predicting 2017

The new year is upon us and with it will come many new and interesting sports stories. Some will be expected while others catch us completely off guard. Whatever ends up happening in 2017 sports fans around the country will definitely have plenty to talk about. So, to help you prepare for another great year in sports the staff here at Unique Sports Theme Name have compiled a list of news stories to keep your eyes and ears open for in 2017. These may not all come true, but  imagine if they did? We could probably ride that clairvoyance into some sort of paying gig. Anyways onto the soon to be news in 2017.

  • The scandal surrounding Russia athletes doping to boost their performance continues to grow. Not wanting to encourage systematic state sponsored doping in international sporting competition FIFA decides remove Russia as the host for the 2018 World Cup. Now in need of a new host those same FIFA officials decide to award Myanmar the World Cup as an award for their continued march towards democracy and a huge wad of cash that was left at the front door of the FIFA offices.
  • After the Golden State Warriors and Cleveland Cavaliers meet in the NBA finals for the third straight year (with Golden State winning), NBA commissioner Adam Silver decides to revamp the NBA playoff system. In July he announces that the Warriors and Cavs will play for the 2017-2018 NBA championship without playing in the overly long NBA playoffs. The rest of the NBA will instead play in a consolation bracket with the winner of that tournament being named Third Best.
  • Encourage on by the recent success of the Chicago Cubs, both the Seattle Mariners and the Washington Nationals fans (the only two teams to never make a World Series) rush out to reserve post season tickets during spring training. Despite  exciting seasons for both teams, neither makes the playoffs.
    • On a more positive note Mariners pitcher Felix Hernandez will rebound from a rocky 2016 season to make the 2017 All-star game.
  • After giving up 12 sacks in a single NFL playoffs game, the Seattle Seahawks decide to fully commit to investing in their offensive line during the offseason. They focus their draft strategy on getting the linemen with the most potential they can find. Somehow they end up drafting three defensive tackles, two tight ends, and a full back with plans to convert all to offensive linemen.
  • For the second year in a row the University of Washington Men's basketball team misses out on the NCAA tournament despite having a player (Markell Fultz) talented enough to be an NBA lottery pick. The continued inability of Lorenzo Romar to adapt to the one and done culture of college basketball finally becomes obvious and he is fired from the head coaching position.
  • In September, still looking for a head coaching job, Rex Ryan reaches out to the Great Orange One and requests state intervention. Not wanting to let a winner like Rex Ryan down The Donald removes Todd Bowles and appoints Ryan as the new head coach of the Jets via executive order. A massive scandal erupts during the Senate confirmation hearings.

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