NBA In Review: By Thulsa Doom

"Kneel before my might!"

Greetings, and tremble before my almighty power, dear readers.  Recently, my good friend Matt came to me with a request to write for his blog.  At first, this idea seemed awful, as I do not know what a blog is, and could only assume it was some sort of disgusting daemon attempting to wrest power from the almighty emperor that is Thulsa Doom.  After Matt explained to me that a blog was, in fact, just a series of one's thoughts written into vaguel formal paragraphs, I warmed to the idea.  Indeed, I have written similar things in my youth, on the papyrus my parents wrested from the slaves in our house.

Wait, What: Matt's Team Wins

"I shall destroy you."

In the long history of my life, all twenty years of it, rarely has a team I truly rooted for had success, and certainly not extended success.  Sure, the Sonics were consistently good in the 90s, but I didn't realize they were their until Ray Allen and Rashard Lewis were arguing over who could play the most lackadasical defense, only to be overcome by the team moving to a state with more cases of depression than citizens.

Baseball never faired much better.  Sure, the Mariners had '95 and '01, but both ended in disappointment (especially 2001).  The Padres had their World Series trip, but that died away with the exodus of every good player not named Tony Gwynn, something that helped unite the world in their mutual hatred of Steve Finley.  What's that?  Only I hate him?  Well, close enough.

A Few Tidbits from Around the Web is Back!

I bet you thought this feature was dead and gone. Never again would you have to see a post full of links to other website, without any original content from this blog. Regardless of whether you were rejoicing or mourning the death of Tidbits, you were wrong. It is back, raising from the ashes like the mighty Phoenix Diamondbacks; ok maybe they aren't that mighty. Anyways, here are today's links:

• Probably the most best thing about Mariners baseball, not named Hernandez, Smoak or Ichiro, the Mariner's new commercials.
• Charles Barkley defends the Sonics existance on TNT.
• Fangraph's Dave Cameron makes an interesting point about the Mariners and their in division rivals the Athletics.

In case you hadn't realized it yet...

... Dirk Nowitski is realy good at basketball. Last night agaisnt the Oklahoma City Thunder he scored 48 points by shooting 12-15 from the field and 24-24 from the line. Yep, you read that right, Dirk went 24-24 from the line. That is the best anyone has ever done from the charity stripe in NBA history. Also, Dirk's 12-15 from the field wasn't so bad. I watched the game and it wasn't like Dirk was getting wide open shots all night. The Thunder did a god job of pressuring him and playing him physically (one of the reasons he had 24 free throws). All and all Dirk just did an awesome job.

If only he had celebrated by punching Clay Bennett in the face and than while screaming in German, dropped to his knees and flexed all his muscles with his fist clenched at his sides, it would have been a perfect night.

Profiles in Courage: Andrew Bynum

Andrew Bynum's tale is that of struggle.  A man who could barely afford a Ferrari until his 18th birthday, Bynum has longed been known as one of the men who best understands his place as an athlete.  Indeed, for years he struggled, with only one coach devoted entirely to his development and a salary merely in the seven digits.  After finally blossoming over the last few years, Bynum unfortunately has had to ply his trade in obscurity.  Indeed, despite Bynum's robust 11 PPG, he was only the subject of one Sports Illustrated cover story, an insult that has never been matched in sports history.  Perhaps Bynum's greatest battle came from the recent Lakers-Mavericks series, in which Bynum was met with a familiar foe: Jose Juan Barea.

Milton "Bat Shit Crazy" Bradley gets cut for Shitty Batting

Excuse my french but I just thought that was a clever title. Anyways it is true the M's parted ways with Milton Bradley today. After a relatively hot start (compared to the other Mariners), Milton's offense has cliff dived into full on suckiness. Not needing a poor fielding, poor hitting, slow outfielder on the roster, especially when they already have a no fielding, poor hitting slow DH on the roster
(Jack "The Custard" Cust), they saw it best to part ways with Milton. I for one wish him well where ever he goes. It will probably just be his house because he has millions of dollar and 17 50 inch plasma flat screen TV (a rough estimate based on his wealth) and cant play baseball well anymore, but I still wish him well.

Come on Milton, its time to go.

The Joy of Goaltending

"Too much traffic!"

In a rather hilarious turn of events, the Philadelphia Flyers were swept out of the Stanley Cup Playoffs recently by the Boston Bruins.  While there are plenty of places to put the blame, the correct one is on the goaltending.  The Flyers, well known for stockpiling tons of great goalies, and by great I of course mean AHL caliber, somehow had problems in the crease.  Who'd have thought?


In fact, in 11 playoff games, their goalies made 17 appearances.  That's right, they pulled every one of their goalies at least once in favor of another, with Michael Leighton leading the way by finish half of the games he started.  Granted, that was only one game, but still.  Somehow, even with this joy, Paul Holmgren, the Flyers GM and long lost future-father of Mike, pointed out that "I don't think we can fault the goaltending at any point in this series..." at which point one has to assume he was talking about the Bruins' goalies.

"And Didier Drogba as Principal Belding."

Recently I wrote a biography on Didier Drogba and his quest for peace in Cote d'Ivoire for a class.  For those interested, here it is.  I got a B+ if you're wondering.

“Human progress never rolls in on the wheels of inevitability; it comes through the tireless efforts of men willing to be co-workers with God” (Barash 2010). The Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr. staunchly stood behind these words; that man cannot progress without the unending work of its leaders inspiring the masses to greater things. In this way, one sees how athletes can be agents of change for the greater good. Didier Drogba, the native son of Cote d’Ivoire on the West African coast, certainly has enough athletically ability to be nothing more than a sports superstar, coasting by in life thanks to his gifts in a game like so many others. Drogba, however, has chosen to take a higher road, living by similar ideas as to the Reverend Martin Luther King Jr, using his resources to help his homeland. In most of the world, Drogba is seen for his athletic exploits as one of the most powerful and effective strikers in the game today.