Well, the playoff beard has reached its thirteenth day for me, and nothing is quite as hard as maintaining one without any specific rules for it. In the past, i've always had a beard that would grow just enough to be annoying by the time the Canucks got killed in the second round, but hopefully that won't matter this year.
Regardless, the Canucks advanced today and hopefully this means my playoff beard will continue all the way until the Cup finals. As such, I've decided to jot down a few rules for the playoff beard so you, the viewer, can follow along at home and grow facial hair no woman will ever love.
1. No shaving your entire face.
2. Moustaches are not required and can be shaved.
3. Avoid the playoff beard if you end up looking like Adam Morrison.
4. Trimming is permitted only to even everything out, not to shorten the beard.
5. Playoff beards need only go as long as your team remains active.
6. No shaving between rounds.
7. Mocking those with lesser beards is completely acceptable.
8. Haircuts are allowed, as long as they do not affect the beard.
9. Pre-existing beards don't count, shave beforehand.
10. Any beard already grown for religious purposes totally counts.
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