Oh, hello there.I see you've caught me doing what I enjoy least: exerting myself. it is alright, I shall commence gliding for the rest of the season, lest the grass of these so-called baseball "fields" scuff my shoes. Do not worry though, for my hitting will distract you. How do I hit so good? Do not worry. This is not for you to know. This is for me to know and exploit, for there is not enough of this ointment to go around.
What is that you say? Yes, I do enjoy playing for the Seattle Mariners baseball club team. No, I do not worry about our continued ineptitude. Every team loses occasionally. It happens, this is not of my concern, for I am here to hit the baseball. Would you like to know my secret?
I do not know the rules of baseball. There, now it is out in the open. When I came to the America, I was told that I could hit the baseball. You see, this is all I know in life. My family raised me to hit a baseball, and after years of training at a remote monastery in the Himalayas, I became good enough to reach the America.
I have been told that there are other parts of baseball. The one called Rool Ibanyes once told me that sometimes people like to hit the ball very far and win games. Ha! This is ridiculous. Needless to say, I laughed quite hardily at him. How can it be that people wish to do this? I had to explain to him that no team would employ people like Yuniesky Betancourt and Carl Everett and Brad Wilkerson if this were true. No, it must have been a cruel joke from the mind of Rool.
What is this you say? Baseball IS for winning? No. Do not distract me. I must single for the good of mankind.
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