The MLB Playoffs: They're Fan-tastic!

As I'm sure the reader can tell, this blog heavily favors the Mariners. On a personal level, this is not a very gratifying team to root for, as they have been mostly worthless throughout their history, save right around the turn of the century. Well it most certainly could be worse (see: Cubs, Chicago), the Mariners aren't about to be making the playoffs anytime soon and as such, one needs to examine the other teams still in it to waste their time rooting for.

While I am already decided on rooting for the San Diego Padres, which I decided roughly twelve years ago, not all of the Seattle fan base is so lucky as to have another favorite team with equally little historical success. And so, that brings us to this years contenders.

New York Yankees

Pluses: Very good chance of winning, rich and colorful history, very in-tune with the needs of fans.

Minuses: Kind of dicks, Evil Empire, boring uniforms.

But Seriously, the Baseball Side: Nobody can really hold a candle to some of the bats that the Yankees can trot out every night, with guys like Robinson Cano (.376 OBP, 106 RBI), A-Rod (.343, 121), and Mark Teixeira (.368, 107) capable of a winning games on their own. The bench is filled with high-energy young guys like Francisco Cervelli and Ramiro Pena, and a strong starting staff rounds out the team. Unfortunately, the pitching has been struggling mightily lately, with guys like Phil Hughes (4.85 ERA in September) and A.J. Burnett (5.33 ERA, +1.0 WAR) really blowing it. If Andy Pettitte really is completely healthy, they've got a pretty good chance.

Tampa Bay Rays

Pluses: Not many other fans to get in the way, plenty of tickets, likeable players/coaching staff, fish tank at ballpark.

Minuses: Operates on a budget similar to my middle school allowance, defense is boring, absolutely no fans in the state of Florida.

But Seriously, the Baseball Side: The Rays have a small group of excellent hitters (Carl Crawford, Evan Longaria) and a much larger handful of guys that know their place, like Carlos Pena and his power (30 percent of his hits are home runs). This team understands the limitations their budget has placed on them, and as such have grown powerful by building with some great defensive players, specifically Carl Crawford and his 22 UZR, though Ben Zobrist (9.7 UZR/150 in the outfield) and Reid Brignac (9.3 UZR/150 and, we can only hope, future winery owner) aren't too shabby themselves. Strong pitchers abound on this roster too, though most of the young starters have struggled quite a bit lately, especially Jeff Niemann and his 10 ERA since August. Don't count them out, as they are as David Eckstein-y as possible without actually having Eckstein.

Minnesota Twins

Pluses: Adorable, won't care how much you eat as you will never be larger than their current fans, definitely won't ever fire you, very friendly.

Minuses: Almost too friendly, never actually show up in the postseason, employed Eddie Guardado.

But Seriously, the Baseball Side: Nobody seems to be as consistent as the Twins these days, who just win every year. This year, they've won with offense thanks to a team of strong hitters, though not exactly overly powerful (2nd in MLB in average, 19th in homers). Even without the power, the Twins always drive guys in and pitch admirably if not exactly well. Unfortunately, they're a bit beat up, as Justin Morneau looks to be out perhaps the whole playoffs and Joe Mauer is nursing his own injuries. Just like always, however, the Twins have other guys picking up the slack, with Delmon Young (.299/19/108) and Matt Capps (2.16 ERA, 20 Ks in 25 IP) filling in more than adequately. As always, it'd be great to see the Twins do well, but they probably won't.

Texas Rangers

Pluses: Not the Angels (even if Vlad tells you otherwise), have roughly as much money as you, hit quite well, which I'm told is enjoyable to watch.

Minuses: Still not the Mariners, make me feel bad, Ian Kinsler isn't really actually that good.

But Seriously, the Baseball Side: Being the Texas Rangers, they can hit well. Surprising, isn't it? Josh Hamilton has been a beast in almost every sense of the word (94 runs, 97 RBIs, crazy arm tatoos, .449 wOBA) and guys like Nelson Cruz, Vlad, and Michael Young have provided some crazy power. Additionally, Elvis Andrus is amazing and has some kind of crazy afro thing. However, this year's Rangers are in strange territory for them, having an excellent bullpen. As someone used to the Rangers of the 90's, it's still weird to see guys like Neftali Feliz, Frank Francisco, and the inpenetratable Darren Oliver strike out everybody and their mother. The starters have been the innings-eaters that Nolan Ryan longs for, though haven't been exactly "great". Even so, the Rangers seem to have a strong team and are getting hot at an excellent time.

Cincinnati Reds

Pluses: Scott Rolen seems like a nice guy, red is a nice enough color, generally nice enough in most categories, Aroldis Chapman throws faster than jet planes (which cannot throw anything).

Minuses: I... I guess Francisco Cordero's a bit overweight, he could cut back a bit?

But Seriously, the Baseball Side: They really aren't that exciting here either. The Reds have an exceptionally relief core, highlighted by both the young (Aroldis Chapman) and the old (Arthur Rhodes, the first dead body to pitch in a major league game). Furthermore, I can think of nothing more confusing for a team than having to face Chapman's 100 MPH fastball followed by Daniel Ray Herrera's 3 MPH curve. Pretty disconcerting. The starters have been up and down, though they've had enough dominating performances to help even everything out. On the offensive side, Joey Votto's been unbelievable while the rest of the lineup has been average to good, thanks especially to Scott Rolen's resurgence (84 RBI in 130 games) and Brandon Phillips' attempted all-around game (98 RBI, 15 SB, 12 CS). Something about these guys just doesn't feel that great (terrible justification, I know) and I wouldn't expect a whole lot.

San Francisco Giants

Pluses: Barry Bonds is gone, pitching is fun, they give you an excuse to kayak AND watch baseball, Kung Fu Panda.

Minuses: Kung Fu Panda isn't an ACTUAL panda, their success means the Padres' failure, their lineup is entirely throw-away waiver guys that nobody likes.

But Seriously, the Baseball Side: The Giants pitch really well, we get it. They pitch like the Padres but worse, up until recently. Matt Cain has been crazy good (almost 3 K's to every walk) and Madison Bumgarner looks to be living up to his ridiculous, ridiculous name. The relief staff has been good too, though how Ramon Ramirez is stranding 93% of all baserunners is beyond me. With as good of pitching as this, you'd think they'd be unstoppable. Of course, that is before looking at their offense. Three everyday starters have been picked up on waivers in the last year (Cody 'Strikes Out 30% of the Time" Ross, Pat Burrell and his knee-less legs, and Jose Guillen), and the rest of the lineup may as well have been. The only impressive hitter seems to be Buster Posey, who is unstoppable and has put up stats comparable to Jason Heyward in about half the games. If Posey keeps hitting like this, they could go far.

San Diego Padres

Pluses: I'll like you more, David Eckstein is the most adorable stuffed animal ever to play in the major leagues, they're scrappy, the Hairstons make you feel like you and your brother could play in the majors.

Minuses: I'll like you more, you'll have to learn a lot of names of random utility players.

But Seriously, the Baseball Side: I understand that the Padres may not even make it. In fact, it's looking more and more like the Braves will take their spot. However, being a Padres fan, I'm going to hold on to the hope they make it and preview them. Besides, I actually know stuff about them. Anyways, the Padres can't really hit much at all, employing guys like Chris Denorfia on a daily basis. Tony Gwynn won't ever be mistaken for his dad hitting-wise, but boy can he roam the outfield (35 UZR/150). Plus young guys like Aaron Cunningham and Luis Durango perform relatively well and learn to maximize their talents from guys like David Eckstein (3000 Scrappiness/150) and Yorvit Torrealba (7 SBs. No, really. Look it up). However, the pitching has carried them all year, thanks to career years from former journeymen like Jon Garland (career 4.34 ERA, 3.58 this year) and Tim Stauffer (career 4.13 ERA, 1.89 this year) while developing plenty of young talent in Mat Latos, Wade LeBlanc, Clayton Richard, and really the entire rest of their staff. Unfortunately, their whole season took a downward spin when Gwynn went down, and it looks like it'll end very quickly in the playoffs, if they even make it.

Philadelphia Phillies



Pluses: You won't get vomitted on, there are no sportsmanship standards for fans, Raul Ibanez and Jamie Moyer can tell you stories about growing up in the Depression.

Minuses: Literally everything else about the Phillies.

But Seriously, the Baseball Side: For all the hype some of their players get, they aren't actually that great of a hitting team. Jimmy Rollins is painfully overrated (.246 batting average, 7 HRs), and all their power numbers are inflated by such a ridiculous home park. That being said, Placido Polanco remains the epitomy of consistent hitting, batting over .285 for the 11th consecutive year. Ryan Howard remains a home run threat in every at bat, despite striking out as much as Greg Halman (28% of the time, which only can mean that Greg Halman is equally talented, right?), and Chase Utley and Jayson Werth continue being quite excellent. Their pitching has been quite good as well, with imports Roy Halladay and Roy Oswalt living up to their reputations and Cole Hamels being quite serviceable to say the least after last year's disaster. Brad Lidge has been surprisingly good as well (3.09 ERA) but hey, it's not the postseason yet. They've got the makings of a championship team and the experience, but we'll wait and see.