Carlos Silva All-Stars

In honor of Carlos Silva's oddly effective season, I've decided it is time to honor other players of his caliber. So here they are, the Carlos Silva All-Stars, honoring players who fit the profile of Carlos Silva circa 2008-2009: that is, the worst players in all of baseball at each position. Keep in mind, not all of these guys will be starters for long or may have even been replaced recently, but their terribility stays constant. Battin ability is favored over defense, though I've tried to factor in everything.

C: Rob Johnson. Sure, I see him play every day so maybe I'm biased, but few can bat so poorly while also playing defense reminiscent of Russ Davis. I know Davis played third, but imagine if he played catcher and that's Johnson's defense.

1B: Lyle Overbay. While Casey Kotchman may be a worse hitter, at least he can play great defense. Overbay is not only terrible, he has a good lineup around him too.

2B: Aaron Hill. Last year's breakout star still has the power (9 HRs), but he still hits well under the Mendoza Line, which is awfully embarassing.

3B: Pedro Feliz. Boy he has aged quickly. Coming from a good team with protection last year, Feliz has fallen apart in Houston and can't drive in runs, score runs, or really do anything beyond look very old.

SS: Cliff Pennington. At least he's still young, but my the future doesn't look bright. With an OBP under .300 and no stat above average besides stolen bases, Oakland needs an upgrade, though Billy Beane is too busy watching soccer to care.

OF: Nate McLouth. Another victim of Pittsburgh's wonderful one year curse, McLouth had a good season or two before falling apart this year, becoming a man of many strikeouts (45) and nothing else (.176 avg, 14 RBIs).

OF: Carlos Quentin. Remember when he almost won MVP? How did that happen? Quentin can't hit a lick anymore, but at least what he hits goes far (8 HRs).

OF: Nyger Morgan. As fun as this former hockey player is, maybe he should have stuck to that sport. A below average hitter with no power, his only selling point was speed. 14 stolen bases is great, but 10 caught stealing is rather horrible. Seems he hasn't even been base enough to try to run that much, but still.

DH: Seattle DH Combo. Griffey may be gone now, but he was unbelievably terrible, hitting worse than literally every DH in the history of baseball. Sweeney had a little hot streak, but he is predictably hurt and groundball-prone.

SP: Charlie Morton. Only ten starts, yet he's given up over 50 runs already. A 1-9 record looks even worse. Sure he plays for the Pirates, but i think the 9.35 ERA has more to do with that record than his teammates.

SP: Kevin Millwood. 19 home runs given up already. 19. That's more than Chone Figgins has hit in his entire lifetime. Guess that explains an 0-8 record and 5.2 ERA.

RP: Juan Gutierrez. Really, he's here to represent all of Arizona's amazingly bad pitchin staff, and what better way to do so than with an 8.87 ERA, .305 BAA, and 10 HRs allowed in 20 games?

CP: Trevor Hoffman. It pains me to put him on any list of terrible players, but honestly, how do you have a 9.90 ERA as a closer? The man has blown as many saves as he has saved (5) and managed to let guys bat .330 against him.

Honorable Mention: Glenallen Hill. I know he's retired, but he was godawful. I'd love/be terrified to see him and Carlos Silva in an eating contest.