The Gift and the Curse of DVR

The invention of DVR was an awesome gift to sports fans everywhere. It allows sports fans to record their favorite teams games without having to keep a clunky old VHS player around. Being able to record games means you no longer have to schedule your day around sports. If a league decides to schedule a game mid-day on a Tuesday, you can always record it during the day and watch it that night. While you are watching the game you can rewind and make your own replays. Maybe most important to some people, you dont have to watch commercials.

The invention of DVR was a curse (although it was a small one) to sports fans everywhere. DVR means that when you record a late night game because you have to get up early for work the next day you have to shelter yourself from news and co-workers the whole next day for fear they might ruin the game. Trying to censor yourself from the sports world is a major pain. When that ESPN addicted co-worker innocently asks, "Did you see the Mariners lose again last night?" you suddenly wish you had just stayed up til ten. Watching a game that you already know the outcome of is nowhere near as fun as watching it when the outcome is unknown.

The World Cup Sucks Now

Well, I tried my best to really care about the World Cup this year. I watched games, I learned players and formations, I didn't laugh every time I heard the name "Kaka." But now, the U.S. has gone and lost. Sadly, it seemed the U.S. was never able to play consistently and played down to its competition. Ghana capitalized on this, as I was afraid they would.

And so, it ends. Yes, the U.S. won its group and had set itself up for a fairly easy round of eight game, but they looked ahead, as us American sports fans often do. Shame on us. Now, we must wait four years until we have another chance at such a prestigious and interesting sporting event, stewing in the filth of our loss.

Wait, what's that? We have our OWN soccer league? AND ones for baseball, hockey, and basketball?

Dear the World Cup, you are no longer needed. You're trivial thrills and hilarious uniforms no longer interest us. If you'll excuse us, we have a baseball season to follow. Enjoy your world championship, Uruguay.

Sincerely,
The United States of America

North Korea Super Fans

As expected, the World Cup has created many stories in the sports world. Both the defending champ Italy and the runner-up France have yet to win a game. The terrible calls by the referee in the USA vs Slovenia (see previous post for more on this.) Powerhouse Germany’s stunning defeat by Serbia. However, one of the most humorous stories this world cup has is the fake North Korean fans.

According to the CIA World Factbook North Korea is a country of 22,912,177 people. The country is full of starvation and hardship. It is one of the most sanctioned countries on the planet. Out of those nearly 23 million suffering people Dear Leader Kim Jong Il manage to turn at least 11 of them into passable soccer players. The North Korean national team or the Winged Horses as their fans know them, played so passably in the world cup qualifying that they made the 2010 world cup. This is only their second appearance in the tournament.

The North Korean’s first opponent was the mighty Brazilian team. Brazil has won a total of 5 world cups, more then any other country, and is led by star midfielder Kaka (funny name I know, but I will leave those joke for those of you less mature in the audience.) During the game the camera’s found a section of North Korean supports dressed in all red. This was especially weird because North Korean citizens are not allowed to leave their country. It was discovered later that these fans were actually Chinese. The North Korean “supporters” were given the tickets so that the North Korean team would have fans. It was the ticket holders jobs to cheer when expected for the mighty North Koreans.

This is just a weird stroy. It is like if the Seattle Mariners had.... It is like if the University of Colorado couldn’t… Well really it is like nothing I have ever heard of in the sports world.

Sources: AP, CIA World Factbook

The Shoe is on the Other Foot

I'm slowly learning soccer. As much as I disagree with the entire idea of the offsides call and hate how much some of these players flop, I understand it. What I do not understand is the call against Maurice Edu.

I'm sure by now you've seen the disallowed goal from the U.S.A-Slovenia game. If you know even the basic rules of soccer, you can tell that in no way was their any foul or violation against the U.S.A. What makes it even worse is that the ref still has not even stated WHAT the foul was.

Go ahead and read that again. The U.S.A. had to settle for a tie rather than a comeback for the ages (no team had ever come back from a 2-0 deficit at the half in the World Cup) because one ref decided it. There was absolutely no reason why, and no reason has been given.

Now, I like to think of myself as fairly rational. I understand bad calls happen, and they always will. But this is unlike anything I've seen since the Seahawks Super Bowl victory. This is unconsciable. These referees are supposed to be the greatest in the world, yet how can one claim to be among the best when they don't even know what foul they called?

Luckily, this shouldn't hurt the U.S.A. too much. With a win against Algeria (and an expected loss to England by Slovenia), the U.S.A. should still advance. However, if this costs the U.S.A. a spot in the knockout round well... that ref should be happy we aren't the Brazilians, or he'd already be dead.

Carlos Silva All-Stars

In honor of Carlos Silva's oddly effective season, I've decided it is time to honor other players of his caliber. So here they are, the Carlos Silva All-Stars, honoring players who fit the profile of Carlos Silva circa 2008-2009: that is, the worst players in all of baseball at each position. Keep in mind, not all of these guys will be starters for long or may have even been replaced recently, but their terribility stays constant. Battin ability is favored over defense, though I've tried to factor in everything.

C: Rob Johnson. Sure, I see him play every day so maybe I'm biased, but few can bat so poorly while also playing defense reminiscent of Russ Davis. I know Davis played third, but imagine if he played catcher and that's Johnson's defense.

1B: Lyle Overbay. While Casey Kotchman may be a worse hitter, at least he can play great defense. Overbay is not only terrible, he has a good lineup around him too.

2B: Aaron Hill. Last year's breakout star still has the power (9 HRs), but he still hits well under the Mendoza Line, which is awfully embarassing.

3B: Pedro Feliz. Boy he has aged quickly. Coming from a good team with protection last year, Feliz has fallen apart in Houston and can't drive in runs, score runs, or really do anything beyond look very old.

SS: Cliff Pennington. At least he's still young, but my the future doesn't look bright. With an OBP under .300 and no stat above average besides stolen bases, Oakland needs an upgrade, though Billy Beane is too busy watching soccer to care.

OF: Nate McLouth. Another victim of Pittsburgh's wonderful one year curse, McLouth had a good season or two before falling apart this year, becoming a man of many strikeouts (45) and nothing else (.176 avg, 14 RBIs).

OF: Carlos Quentin. Remember when he almost won MVP? How did that happen? Quentin can't hit a lick anymore, but at least what he hits goes far (8 HRs).

OF: Nyger Morgan. As fun as this former hockey player is, maybe he should have stuck to that sport. A below average hitter with no power, his only selling point was speed. 14 stolen bases is great, but 10 caught stealing is rather horrible. Seems he hasn't even been base enough to try to run that much, but still.

DH: Seattle DH Combo. Griffey may be gone now, but he was unbelievably terrible, hitting worse than literally every DH in the history of baseball. Sweeney had a little hot streak, but he is predictably hurt and groundball-prone.

SP: Charlie Morton. Only ten starts, yet he's given up over 50 runs already. A 1-9 record looks even worse. Sure he plays for the Pirates, but i think the 9.35 ERA has more to do with that record than his teammates.

SP: Kevin Millwood. 19 home runs given up already. 19. That's more than Chone Figgins has hit in his entire lifetime. Guess that explains an 0-8 record and 5.2 ERA.

RP: Juan Gutierrez. Really, he's here to represent all of Arizona's amazingly bad pitchin staff, and what better way to do so than with an 8.87 ERA, .305 BAA, and 10 HRs allowed in 20 games?

CP: Trevor Hoffman. It pains me to put him on any list of terrible players, but honestly, how do you have a 9.90 ERA as a closer? The man has blown as many saves as he has saved (5) and managed to let guys bat .330 against him.

Honorable Mention: Glenallen Hill. I know he's retired, but he was godawful. I'd love/be terrified to see him and Carlos Silva in an eating contest.

U.S.A: Tying its Way to Victory

Oh yes, that's right, it's happened. In the amazing clash between the United States and England in the World Cup, no one could wait to see who would win. Yes, the winner would have bragging rights for years and years.

That, or they could tie. Even with this 1-1 tie, the U.S. is the clear winner. England is a strong enough team to contend for the World Cup title this year, and the U.S. played them to a draw, something that could even lead to the U.S. winning the group with strong play the rest of the way. The importance of this cannot be downplayed; this would give the U.S. a much easier second round opponent rather than having to play another group winner.

Yes, the U.S. goal was a ridiculous fluke caused by perhaps the most hilarious goaltending I've ever seen in the hundreds of thousands (read: four) soccer games I have watched. But a win is a win, and a tie is a win, which makes no sense but it's still awesome. The U.S. national team (which needs a cool nickname like all the other countries have; might I suggest the Screamin' Eagles?) is certainly riding the high that comes with tying a world power right now, and deservedly so. Now let's go beat Algeria and Slovenia by at least thirty goals and win this group on goal differential.

And yes, being excited about a tie and the importance of goal differential is stupid. But hey, if the U.S. is gonna win, I can live with having to put up with ties.

The First FIFA World Cup Post on this Blog!

June 11th marked the first day of play in the 2010 FIFA world cup in South Africa. The first game was a 1-1 tie between Mexico and South Africa. The second game was a 0-0 tie between France and Uraguay. Two ties in two games. After seeing the results from those two games it struck me, "what if nobody wins any games in the pool play? What if all the games are ties? Does the whole world win?"

Thankfully, on the second day of play somebody actually won a game, blowing away these thoughts of world equality from my mind. Korea beat Greece 2-0. I would like to be the first to wish Korea congratulations on their victory. I didn't see the game but I assume the Greek team didn't actually play in solidarity with their countrymen in protest of their government expecting them to actually work.

Also on the second day, the USA will play England. Everyone should watch this game. The USA is led by skilled mid-fielder's Landon Donovan and Clint Dempsey. England features some of the world's best players like Wayne Rooney and Frank Lampard. The clash should be epic. I personally will be rooting for Hercules Gomez to score like 11 goals because his name is awesome. U-S-A, U-S-A...